Susan had been married to Dave for 20 years. Early on, Susan struggled in the relationship because Dave was emotionally distant. Though he was a kind man, he had a hard time being there for Susan when things got rough. The emotional turbulence was way too much for him (for reasons we won’t go into [read more]
Balance of Power vs. Control – How to Share Power in a Relationship
“I’m not the one who’s a control freak,” squawked my friend Allison. She was calling for a debriefing about a month into a new relationship. She wouldn’t let any of her friends wear white after Labor Day, but she said that compared to Patrick, she’s the definition of mellow. Apparently Patrick used a powerfully shriveling [read more]
Shifting out of Loneliness: The Nuance of Solitude (Part II)
Human beings are social creatures. Our need to belong is not just a factor of our socialization—it’s encoded in our DNA! As the 17th century poet John Donne wrote so profoundly: “No man is an island / entire of itself.” All of us fall on a continuum of how social we are, depending on how [read more]
Being Alone vs Being Lonely: The Nuance of Solitude (Part I)
Jennifer’s divorce hadn’t been final for more than a month when she called me up asking about matchmaking services. As we talked, I soon understood what was going on—a common story. She finally admitted: “I’m lonely, I want someone to fill the void David left behind.” When I heard that I knew it was a [read more]
Bon Voyage! Taking Your First Trip Together
It’s summertime. For many, thoughts turn to vacation time, and ways to enjoy the good weather and long hours of daylight. If you’ve been dating awhile but have not taken a trip together, maybe it’s time to explore some new destinations as a couple. Planning and embarking on a vacation together is exciting. Don’t let [read more]
Hello, did you hear me?—How to Be an Active Listener
Have you ever said these words to someone: “Did you hear a single word I said?” Or… has anyone said that to you? It isn’t always easy to be 100% present in every moment of our lives. We have so much pulling at us and most Americans pride themselves at being successful multi-taskers. But there [read more]
How to Change Your Dating Experience for the Better
By the time Dave came to me for help, he was convinced that loneliness and disappointment were his destiny. He was deeply demoralized. So much so that he was determined to prove me wrong when I told him there was a way to turn things around and find dating success. I asked him, “Do you [read more]
Happily Ever After: Are Your Relationship Expectations Realistic?
Are you unlucky in love? Do your relationships never seem “good enough” to last? Do your partners invariably let you down? Maybe your expectations are unrealistic. Jeannie called me to set up an appointment two months after her last break-up. Though the wounds were still fresh, she was eager to get my help to, as [read more]