Betty Answers Dating Questions

Question: Can you advise me how to proceed on a third date with a girl that makes me butterfly nervous?

Dear Betty,I am at the very beginning of a new relationship and need advice. Here are the details:I’m 48 and she is 47. We both have kids – I have a son in college and she has two teenage sons. We used to work together and have known each other for five years. We always flirted, but were in other relationships. We are no longer co-workers and fate has put us on the same path—both available. I called her up and we met for a drink, caught up, had a blast, laughing and chatting. We briefly touched … [Read More...] about Question: Can you advise me how to proceed on a third date with a girl that makes me butterfly nervous?

Question: Should I try to get my girlfriend back?

Dear Betty,  My girlfriend Nelly broke up with me last week. She said it was because she knew that our relationship had an expiration date—we are both going to be going off to grad school in the next 18 months and had already talked about how we probably wouldn’t do long distance. I was still stunned because we really love each other and had such a good time together. She suffers from anxiety and I think that may be related. Should I try to help her see that it would not be a bad thing to just … [Read More...] about Question: Should I try to get my girlfriend back?

Question: How can I end this streak of attracting narcissistic partners?

I'm very introverted by nature and not very good at reading people. In relationships I tend not to feel the need to lead hence I think I tend to attract narcissistic men. Needless to say my relationships all end very badly and dramatically because it takes time for me to figure the other person out. And as much as I don't feel the need to control, I don't want to be controlled either! My question is how can I end this streak of attracting narcissistic partners? Should I be more assertive? … [Read More...] about Question: How can I end this streak of attracting narcissistic partners?

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Online Dating Advice

Going Offline to Get On Track

You have read an appealing profile on a dating site and you like the pictures. There was enough promise that you sent a message. After some interesting banter, you’ve set a meeting at a convenient location. So far, all your communication with this person has been online. Face to face is going to be different. You have to get off-line for those sparks to fly, but don’t let the prospect of that first meeting daunt you. It’s just a meeting, a chance to see if there might be something there—it’s not … [read more]

How to Interpret a Profile #3—The “Wish List”

The “what are you looking for in a relationship” part of any dating profile is a list of wishes, but the wishes need to be based in reality, not fantasy. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people out there who seem unclear about what a healthy relationship might look like. How to weed them out? Let me help. The “what are you looking for in a relationship” list. This is a tough section. There are some common pitfalls to look for (and to avoid when you write yours—I can help!). Here’s a … [read more]

Dating Apps—The Best of the Best (For YOU!)

You are single. You have approximately zero minutes a day to spend on dating sites. You do not want to break the bank. And you love your smart phone. Lucky for you there are some amazing dating apps that were probably created specifically for you! Or at least for people just like you who can’t wait to find love, companionship, sex—all that good stuff—but need to streamline the process. Also lucky for you, I offer professional profile support. I vet photos (and believe me, many people screw up … [read more]

Expert Dating & Relationship Advice

The Chemistry of Love – Love and the Brain

If I were to describe a situation in which someone experienced a flood of dopamine and ocytocin, a drop in serotonin, and spikes in adrenaline and norepinephrine, all those brain chemicals going crazy might make you assume this person was overdosing on some kind of highly addictive drug. You’d be right. The “drug” is called love and the “overdose” is often referred to as “the early stages of love.” The brain chemicals called neurotransmitters have everything to do with the very physical … [read more]

Be Your Own Valentine

Who do you love? Think about it. If you made a list right now, it would probably be fairly long, and include family and friends. But are you on that list? You should be. Wherever you are on your romantic journey, the person you need to love unconditionally is yourself. You can’t really do the job you want to do loving someone else if you don’t have love for you. So on Valentine’s Day, if you are not in a romantic relationship, you can still celebrate the beauty of love – for yourself, or … [read more]

Forgiveness—Divine Release

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” A quotation probably more famous than the man who first said it, English poet Alexander Pope. You may well have not heard of him, but you have probably heard his words. Screwing up (to err, in other words) is human indeed. We are all flawed human beings. In relationships, mistakes – the biggies and the not-so-biggies – happen. They often lead to disagreement, strife, sorrow, or a sense of betrayal. Forgiveness is human too, despite what Mr. Pope … [read more]