How do I flirt with women properly and create attraction?
Dating Coach Betty: So, have you tried flirting?
Client: Yes, of course
Dating Coach Betty: Please show me
Client: I bite my lip seductively
Dating Coach Betty: Have you tried biting your bottom lip?
Those are some great questions about being desirable and flirting with a potential love interest. We’ll probably need to answer them completely in a two-part series to really answer your questions. As far as being desirable, the number one thing most women find attractive in a man someone who is effortlessly authentic and comfortable in his own skin. The truth is women want to see and know who a man is–quirks and all. Honestly, that’s a whole other topic I’d love to explore in Part II of this question.
For now, let’s talk about how to flirt sincerely and effortlessly. No matter what your age, people who are interested in a mature relationship will respond negatively to cheesy pickup lines, or other immature behavior, acting like you’re bored during the interaction, or worse, turning into a yes person. That kind of behavior reeks of desperation, and that is something you are not. Major keys to effectively flirting include knowing how to communicate, both verbally and nonverbally, as well as a secret tool most dating experts don’t really talk about.
One of the first thing people notice is the other person’s nonverbal body language. There are many ways you can show a person you are interested without using words. This includes turning your whole body and face towards the other person. Your posture is relaxed and upright, no slouching or turning away. When smiling, be mindful to allow the feeling to reach your eyes. Attentive gestures can show you are listening, like a gentle hand on an arm as you laugh or lean in closer to listen. Subtle touches like, brushing a piece of lint off the other person’s sleeve or placing a hand on the other person’s shoulder or lower back while walking through a crowd can be very powerful. At the same time, be mindful that some people are very protective of their personal space, and if you move into it when it’s not welcome can be a complete turn off.
Verbal communication is another important key to flirting. Ask a question about one of their interests or background. Share a funny anecdote. Be sincere. Everyone likes a genuine compliment. Be real and specific with a compliment, not random. For example, don’t just tell a woman she looks great, tell her you like how the color in her dress brings out the brilliant hues in her eyes. Humor is also something not to be underestimated when communicating. Be mindful that like touch, some people may not find certain topics or types of humor very funny. Be mindful of how the other person reacts. If the other person is offended own up to it and move on to another topic.
The secret tool that can be used to effectively flirt is to know when to depart gracefully. Know when the moment to call it a night arrives. Effortless back and forth communication combined with positive body language can feel serendipitous. These moments, no matter how brief, can be the most alluring thing someone finds about you.
Above all, have fun. If you are enjoying the exchange, chances are you both are. Flirt with abandon. Know how desirable and interesting you are, and don’t try to control the outcome nor treat it like it’s a job interview. Flirting is more than just something you do with someone you’re interested in dating. It is a super awesome skill set that can be used in everyday life that fills the world with smiles. It shows the other person you are present, and their presence matters. Be a part of that and see what happens!
If you want to know more about being your authentic self, or honing your flirting skills, contact me for a free consultation. I would love to help you live your best life! Contact me for a free consultation.
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