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Question: Can you help me understand why I have a hard time asking for what I need in a relationship?

Dear Betty,

Can you help me understand why I have a hard time asking for what I need in a relationship?

Yes, I can help you.  This a very important question because all relationships end due to unmet needs or death.  Whether the needs are known or unknown, spoken or unspoken they are critical to having a mutually satisfying relationship.  Many times, we are unaware of a need until it becomes an issue.  That is your cue to discover what you need in your relationships and to speak up.  There are many valid reasons for finding it challenging to ask someone to meet our needs. Below are some possibilities.

Not knowing needs

Fear of being judged or rejected

Fear of our needs not being accepted or understood

Over focus on partner’s needs and neglecting our own needs

Finding the right words to communicate needs

Start by identifying and writing your needs on paper.  Ask your partner to talk with you and have an open, honest discussion about what you are feeling and ask them for their input into ways that you can work together to achieve a mutually satisfying agreement.   If you are anxious about the discussion, practice what you want to say out loud and notice how the words would land for you if you were hearing them.

You absolutely can get your needs met in the right relationship so go forth and ask.

If you need help to identify your needs and practice your words, please sign up for a one time complimentary call and we will work through it.  I am always here for you.

 

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3 Deadly Dating Blunders
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What Clients Are Saying

Betty walked the path with me in such a way that I found someone amazing!

In a world saturated with online dating and connections that just seem ingenious, I had given up hope. I craved human connection that didn’t involve a screen and knew that I had a lot of love to give.

Finding that person was an uphill battle, but Betty made me feel as though I was not alone. She helped me believe in myself and walked the path with me in such a way that I found someone amazing… and learned more about myself in the process. In my eyes, that’s a double win! – Bruce W, Nashville TN

Betty helped me to regain my authenticity and confidence

I was down-right desperate to find love. I was looking in all the wrong places and found my emotions to be all over the place every time I went on a date. I felt disappointed and hopeless.

Betty helped me to regain my authenticity and confidence. She didn’t just help me to find a partner, but also helped me to navigate my emotions, and realize that it takes two to tango. I had to be the best version of myself to meet someone, and Betty did that for me. – Amanda S, New Orleans LA

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