How can I weed out people online that are not a good fit for me?
The “what are you looking for in a relationship” part of any dating profile is a list of wishes, but the wishes need to be based in reality, not fantasy. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people out there who seem unclear about what a healthy relationship might look like. How to weed them out? Let me help.
The “what are you looking for in a relationship” list.
This is a tough section. There are some common pitfalls to look for (and to avoid when you write yours—I can help!).
Here’s a checklist of warning signs:
- Too long. If the list of wants and needs is way too long—like, it goes ON AND ON—this person has unrealistic expectations. A long list may also mean that there is baggage from the last relationship.
- Too short. If the list is short or seems perfunctory or generic, it could mean the person is not really making an effort for some reason, or is not that serious about a relationship and is just looking for sex.
- Too demanding. A list of super-demanding “deal-breakers” is a big red flag. Warning: possible control freak— #avoid.
A few caveats.
- Age. It does NOT define us! But don’t be sucked into an incipient getting-to-know-you relationship with someone if you have to lie to about your age. It will come back to haunt you. Tell the truth and hope they do too.
- Height. When people clearly state they are looking for “tall” – they mean it. Typically, women care about height (not always) and, guys? 5’9” is not 6’1” no matter how you slice it. You and I know you are dynamite (aka powerful but in a small package) but if you lie… things really will blow up.
- Grammar. The quality of the profile is not as important as the content, but almost. And for some, a sloppily constructed profile is a deal-breaker. How well is it written? Is it complete? Is it riddled with errors in grammar and punctuation? These things matter as they reflect upon the profile’s writer as much as anything else in the profile. (This is why some people get help with this!)
I have lost track of the number of people I know—clients and friends—who have found love and meaningful relationships by using the internet. Don’t let yourself be discouraged by the misfits (and try to weed them out early in the process!). Once you know the drill, the online dating world is your oyster!
Oysters of love unite!
Need more information? I’m always here to help! Click here to schedule your complimentary coaching session with me today so you can get on the right track to finding your true soul mate.