I’m finally able to put myself out there in the dating world. Along with the fact bars are not my thing, I’m more of an extroverted introvert, so in a way, I hate putting myself out there.
My friends keep telling me online dating is a sign of the times, but I don’t know really where to start. What are the top 5 things I should look for in an online dating profile?
Your friends are absolutely right that online dating no longer carries the stigma it had 10 years ago, nor is it something only the “cool” kids are doing. There are plenty of sites out there that can cater to very specific niches to some of the more mainstream ones.
That being said, sifting through profile after profile can be a little daunting and feel overwhelming at times. Knowing the top 5 things to look for in an online dating profile can streamline the process in finding someone who is right for you.
Top 5 things to keep an eye on while looking through online dating profiles are: photos, alignment, relationship goals, tone and spelling/grammar. An easy way to remember this is through the acronym PARTS.
- Photos. The first thing we see is their photos. We are by nature visual creatures, which generally allows us to size someone up rather quickly to decide if we would like to engage with them or not. When looking at someone’s profile pictures, ask yourself if anything about them resonate with you. Does the person have shared interests such a love for animals, lifestyles or hobbies? But above all, is the person attractive to you?
- Alignment. The second thing is as you’re reading their description of themselves, do their words align with their pictures? Nothing is worse than someone saying they love animals or children only to find that the picture states the dog/child pictured is not their own! Or does the person state they are homebodies, who love relaxing at home with a book, but all the pictures are of them out partying with friends. Showing that a person’s actions match their words is a huge indicator if a person can be trustworthy or not.
- Relationship goals. The third thing to look for is shared relationship goals. Are you and the other person both looking for something casual versus something committed? This might seem like overkill when you haven’t even gone on the first date yet, but it sets a level of expectation on the boundaries of the relationship. Always remember this can be fluid, and can change over time. Bottom line: it’s a good thing to know what each of you expect from the other person.
- Overall Tone. The fourth thing is their tone in their profile. Is it positive or negative? This is usually found in the “what they are looking for” section of the profile. A positive tone would be, “I’m looking for someone to share big and small adventures as we create an extraordinary life together.” Whereas something negative would look like, “I’m looking for someone to make my life easier not harder.” If you find negativity a turn off, don’t bother responding to profiles that denote a negative tone.
- The fifth thing is good grammar and spelling. This may sound nit picky to some, but the reality is someone who doesn’t take the time and effort to ensure they have properly spelled words correctly, or have poor grammar skills, shows a lack of maturity. Sure, spelling mistakes happen, and maybe English isn’t their first language, but you shouldn’t have to feel like you’re grading an English assignment.
Want to know more about how to navigate online dating, or how to make your dating profile stand out? Contact me for a free consultation.
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