You’re single and over 40. Chances are you have not been on the dating scene since college, or maybe when you were just starting out in your profession. Back then, everyone seemed to be single. When you went out with your friends, you’d have to work hard not to brush shoulders with someone available. Then all you had to do was to get to know a few of them, find one who was compatible and then… date. If you’re noticing that it’s not so simple now, you are not alone.
But the right person for you is out there somewhere. The trick is: where? Finding that person you are meant to meet is a huge challenge facing singles. You’ve looked inward
and discovered what you want in a partner and what you need out of a relationship. You are ready for the next step. All dressed up, but… where to go?
The best way to find love is to look. Really look. In the right place, for the right type of person. Just hoping Mr. or Ms. Right will stroll by as you glance around is not going to do the trick.
As you probably already know, there are two main ways to find that special someone: on line and in person. There are definite steps you can take to get the ball rolling.
- Step one—turn on your computer. I’m only half kidding. You do have to commit to the process, but it can be a fun one!
- Join an online dating site such as Match.com, eHarmony or OkCupid, to name only a few popular sites.
- When you create your profile, be sure you really describe yourself accurately and give details about what you seek in a partner. Generic profiles simply blend in with all the other generic profiles. Be proud of what makes you unique and own it! Chances are you will find that unique someone faster if you do.
- Get noticed by using a great head shot and an interesting title. Blurry, distant photos just make it seem as if you don’t want anyone to really notice you, and that message will be a turn-off. If you don’t have a good picture of yourself, get a friend to help you out! Your title can say a lot about you, too. Avoid the bland – Nice Guy Seeks Great Gal — or the overly desperate – Maybe You Can Love Me.
- Spend time browsing the profile sections to see if anyone appears to meet your criteria. And be patient. You are not going to find the perfect match on the first day.
- If you find people you are interested in, exchange instant messages or emails with them to see if you click. Take the conversation off-line sooner rather than later. You don’t want to waste time, energy and good intentions on someone who is not a good fit.
- Meet for coffee in a public place and let your friends or family know where you are. Your safety is important. Remember, the people you are meeting are strangers and should be treated as such. Limit the time of your meeting to one hour; you will know right away if this is someone you want to get to know better.
If not, part on good terms and move on.
While online dating can connect you with a lot of people it still comes down to meeting that person face to face before you decide if he or she is a potential partner. The best strategy for meeting someone you are compatible with, who shares your likes, and has similar values and goals, is to go places and do things that really interest you. You will meet other people there.
Maybe some of them will be single and searching, just like you!
- Join a club aligned with your passion like a book club, card club, cooking club, nature conservancy, or wine lovers organization. It stands to reason that the people there will share your passion.
- Volunteer at a favorite charity, for a political campaign, or at church. You will meet good people just like you, who give of their time.
- Attend a class on cooking, adult continuing education, or dance – something that interests you.
- Join a group specific to your pastimes like dancing, exercise, travel, hiking, skiing, or photography. These options bring you in close contact with people who share your interests.
- Dogs work wonders – take your dog to a dog park or dog-related functions to connect with other dog owners. If you are not a dog owner, consider becoming one!
In the scenarios above, you will meet people who want to get to know you because you already have a shared interest – what happens after that is up to you! Think about NASCAR drivers, Danica Patrick and Ricky Stenhouse Jr! What brought them together so that they could find romance? A singularly common interest – automobile racing! Even though they are both top competitors in the sport, and competing against one another for Rookie of the Year, they found that their shared passion and frequent proximity helped friendship blossom, and then something more according to the New York Times.
Your best bet for a long term committed relationship is with someone who shares similar core values, life goals and common interests. You will never run out of things to talk about or activities you enjoy doing together.
Be out and about with your antenna up. You may just meet Mr. or Ms. Right at one of your favorite spots. There are good people out there looking for someone just like you, seeking true love and companionship. You simply need to know where to look.
As always I’m available to help you find your true love and build a relationship that lasts! Here is my personal online scheduler to get your 30 minute Free “Getting It Right” strategy session. Let’s get started today!