The simple answer to the question above is: YES.
Ladies, you may think that men, allegedly being from Mars and all, want strange and mysterious things from their relationships That’s not so. In fact, men’s requirements in a relationship mirror your own. You are both human beings, after all. Though brain research has revealed that women and men are not exact photocopies of one another, their similarities in the realm of love may surprise you. We get tripped up because we think there are more differences than there actually are.
So based on the simple premise that a serious minded, emotionally available man desires a relationship, what is he looking for? What are his wants and needs?
- Open communication. A man wants a woman who communicates honestly about her wants and needs. You need to speak up. He is not a mind reader, any more than you are. It is true that some people are better at reading non-verbal cues than others, but regardless, it is not really fair to expect a man to “just know” what you want. Besides, signals can be misinterpreted, and we do often send mixed messages without intending to. So speak with integrity and consideration. He wants to meet your relationship needs! By being clear about what those are, you are not “being needy,” you are being honorable. Men do not appreciate a woman who plays games or manipulates (any more than you want that, right?). Go ahead and talk. Men are listening.
- Shared values and goals. Just as you are looking for someone to share your values and life goals, so is he. Values serve as markers to let you know if your life is on track and if it is turning out the way you want it to. In other words, living in alignment with your values gives life meaning. So why wouldn’t a man want to share that with the woman in his life? Examples of values are: honesty, communication, stability, openness, self-respect, compassion just to name a few. Life goals can include children, finances, and where you live. To co-create your best love life for the rest of your life you must be compatible, with shared values and life goals. He wants that as much as you do.
- To be seen. A man wants a woman to really “get” him. This includes appreciating and acknowledging him for what he does right. Look for the bright spots. Being aware of what is working and expressing that builds trust and mutual respect. On the other hand, he wants you to see all of him and accept it. If your relationship is based on your expectation that you can change him, or fix him, he won’t feel so good about himself or the partnership.
- Desire not need. This relates to being seen, acknowledged and understood. He, like you, wants to be wanted. A man does not want to feel that you desperately need him to fill your empty holes, or meet your financial requirements. He wants a partner, someone active and independent with a rewarding life of her own. Being confident and capable is attractive to men because they know they are desired as equals.
- Commitment. A good man wants a woman who is faithful and committed to the relationship. The myth that all men cheat is as insulting to men as it is to women. Amazing men know that fidelity is vital to relationship success. Men need to know that a woman is committed to the relationship and willing to work through life’s issues as they arise and not bail at the first speed bump.
- Sexual compatibility. Sexuality is a language of intimacy for men. When sex is missing or unsatisfying, they feel lonely. A man can get sex anywhere. But what he wants are the feelings attached to the experience, like tenderness, softness, connection, intimacy and love. Men want a woman who is sexually compatible. The bonds of closeness and affection that form through sex have nothing to do with the frequency or type of sexual activity. Just like you, a man wants to feel loved and desirable.
It’s not rocket science, ladies. Men and women’s relationship requirements are more similar than we often imagine. When you find that good man, feel confident in the knowledge that you both speak the same language of love. Well, at least very similar dialects….
To explore this topic further and talk about your relationship goals, click here for my personal online scheduler and get a 30 minute free strategy session with me.