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Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match

In virtually every culture throughout history, the matchmaker has played an important role. Hindu astrologers and the Ashkenazi shadchan advised families seeking the perfect spouse for their child. And in countries where arranged marriages were not the rule, untold numbers of matchmakers have helped bring generations of people together in relationship. Matchmaking is a time honored profession. Matchmakers through history have run the gamut from those trained and apprenticed to master matchmakers to the community “busybodies” with a flair for connecting people, and from the village priest in Medieval Europe orchestrating marriages as part of his Godly work to the licensed matchmakers of the 21st century. Many of you are familiar with the famed matchmaker of Broadway and cinema—Dolly Levi, the joyful, irreverent, enthusiastic, and hilariously funny protagonist of Hello Dolly! While not all matchmakers can sing like Barbara Streisand, they all have both the gifts and training they need for the job.

Why has the matchmaker always been in demand? Because whether in tsarist Russia or ancient China, frontier America or an African village, during times of boom or bust, the matchmaker helps us with a tough task—finding a good marriage partner. The matchmaker is on our side through a stressful process. In the past, people often lived in isolated communities with limited marriage prospects and no easy way to branch out. Today in our global community the opposite is true, and yet finding “the one” is, in many ways, no easier. The fast pace of modern life and the demands of careers often get in the way, preventing our focus on something that matters deeply. Finding love.

Online sites such as Match.com and eHarmony have taken the dating world by storm, yet many people have begun to recognize that they need guidance in this process. The result—a revival of interest in matchmakers. Whereas in history, parents hired the matchmakers, now single adults are retaining them.

So, you may ask, what is it that a matchmaker can do for me? What is so great about it? Here is a list of the highlights.

  • Personal Service. Your very own matchmaker works with you and for you, introducing you to compatible people you would otherwise not have the opportunity to meet. The good matchmaker has a large pool from which to draw. So does Match.com, you say. Yes, but a matchmaker knows you and knows the other people in his or her address book. Would you rather have a computer program matching you up with people or a human being who has met you and understands your delightful quirks and unique “je-ne-sais-quoi” qualities?
  • Confidentiality. Your personal information is safe. Professional matchmakers do not share your personal information with anyone without your permission. They are like unhackable vaults. Their professional credibility depends on it.
  • Privacy. No one will know that you are using a matchmaker. The entire service is done without exposure on the internet. There are some employers, for example, who prohibit employees from posting any photos to the internet. That makes online dating sites useless.
  • Time saving. Matchmakers do the searching and screening for you. You don’t have to sit up till all hours searching online dating sites to weed through the choices. Nor do you have to spend hours upon days, as well as a lot of money, going places hoping to meet someone. And you’ll never again have to say yes to a blind date set up by well-meaning friends and family.
  • Money saving. Matchmaking services have no hidden fees and you know what you are getting for your money. Many matchmakers have à la carte services so you buy only what you want. You may be surprised to know that, over time, the costs of a professional matchmaker are less than long-term online dating site contracts and dead end date expenses.
  • Satisfied customers. How is it possible for matchmakers to have the incredible success rates they do? For one thing, they do not accept everyone as a client. Through an extensive and detailed personal interview process, they ensure they can meet your expectations and make quality matches before they accept your application.
  • Avoiding the emotional roller coaster. The dating life, with or without online dating services, can be emotionally draining. With a matchmaker you are less likely to experience multiple heartaches and disappointments, and more likely to feel satisfied. Think about it. Your matchmaker has personally met each and every person you are introduced to. He or she has already eliminated incompatible matches. Think about the difference between diagnosing yourself on an online medical site or going to a trained specialist who has already learned the medicine and can immediately apply that knowledge to your personal situation.
  • Advice and support. Your matchmaker will provide feedback and coaching after every introduction. It is reassuring to have someone on your side, advising, suggesting and supporting you as you seek the person of your dreams. That’s not something a computer can give you.

If you’ve ever seen Fiddler on the Roof, you know that great song, Matchmaker, Matchmaker. The first lines are: “Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch”

The great comfort of being able to put that job in the hands of an empathetic, trained professional is immense. You go about your business while someone looks for your perfect “catch.” So yes. Matchmaking is a smart dating strategy. It can be used in combination with online dating, singles mixers, and traditional dating. Knowing your options and developing an action packed dating plan will put you on the path to your best relationship yet. Something to think about!

Filed Under: Dating & Relationship Advice, Getting Ready to Date

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Betty walked the path with me in such a way that I found someone amazing!

In a world saturated with online dating and connections that just seem ingenious, I had given up hope. I craved human connection that didn’t involve a screen and knew that I had a lot of love to give.

Finding that person was an uphill battle, but Betty made me feel as though I was not alone. She helped me believe in myself and walked the path with me in such a way that I found someone amazing… and learned more about myself in the process. In my eyes, that’s a double win! – Bruce W, Nashville TN

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Betty helped me to regain my authenticity and confidence. She didn’t just help me to find a partner, but also helped me to navigate my emotions, and realize that it takes two to tango. I had to be the best version of myself to meet someone, and Betty did that for me. – Amanda S, New Orleans LA

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