Holiday time may scare you now that you’re single. The statistics about depression are pretty… well, depressing. But take stock of this golden opportunity of freedom. Then take charge of your holidays and decide that –not only are they not going to get you down, they are going to be great. Think about it. You can enjoy all the festivities and parties, and catch up with people you haven’t seen in a while. Dress up and dazzle, eat, drink, and be merry.
In case you need a reminder, here are some awesome perks of being single at holiday time:
- You are a free agent. You can accept any holiday invitations of your choice. Or all of them. There is no need to check someone else’s schedule. Who’s in charge? You’re in charge.
- You can seek what is positive. You are not romantically tethered to anyone. So, as a free agent, you do not need to be around people who are going to bum you out. Make positive choices and surround yourself with positive, upbeat, energetic people. Create the holiday mood that suits you.
- Freedom to flirt! There is no downside to the liberating knowledge that as you go from one holiday event to another, and stand in one check-out line after another… you can flirt with anyone you want. Wear your jingle bell earrings or your candy cane tie and spread some holiday cheer.
- Hosting a “happy holidays” party. Alone, or in partnership with another single friend, plan a fun party. When you invite your friends, mention that they need not bring a bottle of wine, a fruitcake, or a holiday-scented candle. The only hostess gift you want is… singles! If everyone you know brings a single friend to your party, imagine the fun you can have.
- Volunteering at your favorite charity. Not only is this an amazing opportunity to give back—to help those less fortunate during this time of year— it is also a top notch way to meet other compassionate (single?) people. (And feel free to use this quote from Winston Churchill in casual conversation as you serve at the local food pantry: “We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.”)
- Traveling to an exotic destination. Travel at holiday time can be supremely redemptive. First of all, you are single, so who gets to decide where to go? You! Take a single friend or go solo. Take a book, a bathing suit, a tour guide, and either bask in the simplicity of single-hood, or have a blast flirting with everyone in sight.
- Shopping. Sounds weird, I know. Everyone shops at the holidays, not just singles. I know, but this time, you can—and must—put one particular gift recipient at the top of your Santa list. YOU. What’s on your wishlist? You deserve something special. While you’re at it, you may just bump into Mr. or Ms. Right in the checkout line.
You may be ready for that next relationship and feeling disappointed that the holidays are upon you and no one special has entered your life. That’s understandable. But I urge you not to dwell on the negatives. Focus on the positives. Being single means having freedom. Freedom has perks galore!