Why do you need to know your dating code? A code is an internal radar system that helps you navigate the dating waters so you can find a meaningful relationship. You need to know what to look for, and what to look out for. Your code, quite simply, helps you get what you want and makes sure you never have to settle.
How do you learn the ABCs of your dating code? It’s all about knowing yourself first – before you get to know someone else!
The CODE comes straight out of the CORE – meaning your core values. Once you are living in alignment with those core values, you will find that:
- your life has purpose, meaning, authenticity
- you don’t make (as many) bad choices
- selecting the right partner is much easier
- heartache and drama can be avoided
- your self-confidence blossoms
- you no longer seek approval from others
- settling for less than you deserve becomes unthinkable
Here are some questions to get you started identifying your core values:
What things in life make you happy?
What can’t you live without?
What are your physical and emotional boundaries in the beginning stages of dating?
Let’s look at a sample ABC list of core values that are at the heart of a Dating Code.
- Acceptance. I want to be accepted for who I am.
- Buoyancy. I value a resilient spirit.
- Creativity. The creative life matters to me.
- Dependability. I need someone I can truly count on.
- Empathy. I am empathetic and want someone who is too.
- Freedom. I don’t want to be controlled or to control, but to live freely.
- Generosity. I will love someone with a large heart and open arms.
- Hopefulness. My partner and I will see the world through hopeful eyes.
- Intelligence. I seek my intellectual equal.
- Joy. Living in joy is the only way.
- Kindness. Compassionate actions are vital to a healthy relationship.
- Loyalty. My partner and I will have each other’s backs.
- Making a difference. I respect people who want to create positive change.
- Neatness. I can’t live in chaos.
- Open-mindedness. An open mind allows for hope, creativity, honesty, and much more.
- Passion. I desire a life of passion—in bed, in love, and in how I live my life.
- Quality. It is important to me to live a quality life, emotionally, spiritually, materially.
- Reliability. Partners need to show up for each other.
- Spirituality. I want my partner to share my spiritual values.
- Trust. Basic faith in one another’s integrity is vital for my partnership.
- Unflappability. I don’t want to live with a lot of drama.
- Vivacity. I am upbeat but depressed people can bring me down.
- Wittiness. There is nothing like a good laugh….
- X can stand for the ineffable – that which I don’t know yet.
- Youthful spirit. Staying young at heart is my philosophy of life. Let’s never stop having fun!
- Zeal. Enthusiasm and vigor are sexy to me.
The above is just one of countless possible permutations on The List. Now you can make your own ABC list. Once you do, look through all the things you put on that list and prioritize the ten most important.