Are you in a dating rut? That could mean you are attracting the same ol’ boring type or you have given up and are not meeting anyone at all. If you are getting the same story on a different face, over and over again, it’s time to get out of your comfort zone and try something new. Go somewhere new. Branch out and meet … someone new!
Try some of these tips and see what happens when you shake things up:
- Do it yourself. Maybe you always wanted to learn how to build a bookcase or construct a storage unit. Or maybe you just want to get out of the house and meet someone new and interesting. Check out the DIY classes at your local home or supply store – Lowes, Menards, Home Depot, etc.
- Work out… in a new way. Even if you have been going to the same gym for years, maybe it’s time to branch out. There’s more than one reason to sweat and make your muscles ache. Getting fit is one. Meeting cool new people is another. Try going to different gyms for their trial period and see what’s up.
- Switch it up. You have a routine, right? Change it. Get coffee at 7 rather than 7:30. Go to Sunoco instead of Citgo. Shop at a different grocery store each week, and on different days. You’ll meet a whole new group of people going about their routines.
- Root for the team. Any team! There’s nothing more rousing than cheering when a basket is made or a home run is hit. And if you meet new people along the way, all the better. Go to a sporting event: baseball, hockey, soccer, football, basketball. Local teams, minor leagues, college games – these are fun and usually a little “cozier” and thus worth considering.
- Play ball! Or anything else that strikes your fancy. Join local softball league, or a bowling team. Play, have fun, get dirty, and then go out for a beer with the team and see what happens.
- Get moving! Run a marathon or walk for a cure. Getting out on the road with hundreds of other people who share a common goal (getting to the finish line) is an experience full of camaraderie and joie de vivre. If you happen to raise money for a worthy cause while you’re at it, all the better.
- Membership required.
Think about joining an organization, such as a museum, winery, gallery, or performance space. You will be invited to special events for members only. You’ll meet new people who share your interests!
- Rescue a dog. Animals make excellent ambassadors. Not only will you do a lot of good to some poor doggie, but you’ll get to go to the dog park and meet new people willing to talk to you about canine nutrition and training, and share adorable stories of puppy love.
- Get a new job
This may sound extreme, but seriously. If you are in a dating rut, maybe you are just plain in a rut. I do not suggest new employment if you totally love your current job. But if you don’t, why not think about shaking things up? Office romance… it’s got its perks.
- Go on stage. If you have a flair for the dramatic, take an acting class. Or maybe an improv or comedy class. Laughter is the best medicine and the freedom combined with the intimacy of sharing a stage with someone might lead to one thing or another….
- Dance like nobody’s watching. William W. Purkey, inspirational speaker and writer, famously wrote: “You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like there’s nobody listening.” Take chances and live fully by taking a dance class, or joining a community chorus. And who knows? You might even meet some amazing people while you feed your soul.
- Cook something up. If you sign up for a cooking class, not only will you learn something new and get to eat great food, but you’ll also spend hours a month shoulder to shoulder with fellow gastronomes, making your way to their hearts through their stomachs. And they’ll return the favor!
- Take up a martial art. From Qigong and Tai Chi to Tae Kwon Do and Karate, martial arts practice increases concentration, balance, and strength. Schools and dojangs that teach these disciplines are often very energetic and spiritual places. See if any of them appeal to you and try it out. You’ll get in shape, extend your life, and who knows, maybe find true love while you’re at it.
- Wine and dine. Clubs for wine lovers or for dining out are great ways to meet people in a stimulating social setting. See what is available in your area.
- Volunteer.
Look around in your community for opportunities to make a difference, get out of the house, and meet community-minded people. Some ideas: a blood drive, soup kitchen, or habitat for humanity
- Read a book. Not just on your own, but with a book club. Talking about a book is a great social lubricator. See if there are any co-ed book groups in your area. You could also go to a book signing or reading. Thoughtful people who read books are likely to be there and one might be someone worth getting to know.
- Travel with a singles group. There are tons of them online you can check out. Who knows? The love of your life might live one town away from you but you’ll meet on a plane and get to know each other while touring the Coliseum in Rome or riding burros down into the Grand Canyon!
- For single parents. A single mom or dad? Join parent organizations, go to playgrounds, visit children’s museums, etc. These places draw parents of all kinds, including singles.
- Professional development. Go to a work related business conference. Not only might you get great ideas to take back to the office, or be inspired in new professional ways, there will be lots of other people there. See what develops.
- Experience what your area has to offer. Every part of the country, rural or urban, north or south, has unique opportunities and attractions that draw people. Spring is here! See what is going on near you and make an effort to attend local festivals. Everything from beer festivals to garlic festivals will draw the connoisseur or the curious. Other options: take an art walk, visit a car show, or participate in a seasonal celebration.
- Get in gear! If you are in a rut, you may be spending a lot of time on the sofa, browsing TV channels, or surfing the web for distraction and inspiration. My advice: get out into the world and realize how many people are out there waiting to meet someone awesome … just like you.