If you’re a woman over 40 entering the dating world, you’re probably aware of the way Hollywood and popular culture love to depict you. In spite of the media stereotypes, you most likely are not a crazy woman in a shawl living with 40 cats, nor are you a “broad” in cheetah leggings, feathered mules, and makeup to hide the face it was meant to enhance.
In most cases, women over 40 have wonderful life experiences to bring to a relationship–from raising children to running a household, from volunteering in the community to traveling around the world, from bringing home the bacon to frying it up in a pan! You are the multitasking, book club attending, spin class loving demographic that is so much more than merely gender and number. With your established home, career, and friends, you’ll just have to remind yourself that enlightened people now believe what you’ve always known–age is just a number. We’ve all heard that 50 is the new 30, and that’s because as women age, we are able to find and understand our true authentic selves.
And that authenticity breeds confidence and confidence is sexy—it’s charismatic, welcoming, and downright fun. Surveys indicate that men look for confidence, authenticity, intelligence, and a sense of humor, more so than physical beauty at any age. They want a real person for a long-term, committed relationship. They want a happy person they can make happier, a happy person they can be happy with. So while a face lift and tummy tuck might seem to lead you down the path toward true happiness, it is developing yourself from the inside out that will introduce you to a the truly wonderful opportunities you deserve.
As you work with your coach to rediscover yourself, remember these dating tips:
- Safety: If you are going on a first date, drive separately. Tell your friends or family where you will be — and give them a number where you can be reached and keep your cell phone on.
- Boundaries: Know what topics of conversation you are comfortable discussing as well as your physical contact limits. You probably want to avoid excessive details about your ex but mentioning your children in the context of a story is okay. And what about the end of the date – are you comfortable with a warm hug or kiss or some kind of sexual involvement?
- Intentions: Know if you are casually dating for something to do or if you are dating to find a committed relationship and communicate your intentions sooner rather than later.
- Dress for success: Wear clothing appropriate for your body type that reflects your style. Typically, women over 40 are comfortable with their bodies so don’t be afraid to accent your best assets.
- Listen: Try to speak less and observe more. You will learn a great deal about the character of your date.
- Spirits: Limit your alcohol consumption to two drinks; overindulgence can spoil your date.
- Authenticity: Be your brilliant authentic self.
Since dating is a process of discovery. You should expect to meet and date men who are not your ideal partner before you and the love of your life find each other. It would be wonderful to meet Mr. Right on your very next date, but, if you don’t, be ready to move on and remain on good terms.
So get out there, meet new people, and have fun!
For a free 30 minute consultation visit my personal online scheduler and let’s set a time!