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Relationship Elements

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For a Successful Connection Make Sure You Share Core Values

Sharing Core Values?Core values – what are they? They are not who you vote for, what car you drive, how much money you make, what restaurants you like, or what movies you prefer. Core values are not what you do, they are who you are.

Core values are very deeply rooted and determine many of the choices you make in life. You have values for family, health, career, and relationships. When you live your life in line with your core values you live your truth. If you can live your truth in a relationship without guilt, apology, anxiety, or doubt, you will be fine. But believe it or not, many people look straight at a strong difference in the core values of themselves and their new dating partner and either can’t or refuse to see the difference.

Early love (actually infatuation) is a drug that will obscure clear thinking and even the ability to feel your strong inner warning system. For example, during the first few weeks of dating Susan saw Jason casually lie to a waiter in a restaurant, heard him lie to his mother on the phone, and later to his boss. Then she was surprised and hurt when she realized Jason had lied to her as well – over and over and over. One of Susan’s core values is absolute honesty, but she managed to excuse the lies she heard Jason tell again and again until she realized that the lies were also to her…

So don’t take lightly the process of figuring out if this new person’s values align with yours. Don’t let the fog of “beautiful, sexy, exciting, handsome” obscure what you can see is their value system. If you really want to date to create a real relationship, slow down and give it some thought. Listen to that still, small voice inside when it is warning you that core values aren’t aligning, and move on. When that voice keeps getting louder and louder, or when your partner is making you to go against your grain remember it’s a BIG problem that will eventually destroy your relationship.

When we have to ignore our core values to be in a relationship, we will ultimately feel uneasy, resentful, even kinda sick, knowing we are not being true to ourselves.

In next week’s blog we’ll talk about how to identify YOUR core values!

Filed Under: Online Dating

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3 Deadly Dating Blunders
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What Clients Are Saying

I feel stronger and more confident than I did before.

Before I met Betty, I was lost. I was giving up on love and I have tried everything else but a Dating Coach. What have I got to lose? She is a lovely, down to earth person who wishes me the best always. I have learned a lot from her and I am still learning. She made me feel better about myself even though I am not at my best right now. I feel stronger and more confident than I did before. She is my safety net and I know she will help me through this long road I have ahead of me. She has taught me to understand what a relationship is and what it could be. – Karen M.

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As a 59 year old nurse I spend my days caring for others. Then one day it hit me that I need to take care of myself and figure out how to get the relationship I hoped for. A friend referred me to Betty. I signed up right away and she had me dating within 2 weeks. It was the best investment in myself that I ever made. – Lori D., Canada

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