For a successful first date, try these basic Don’ts and Do’s and see where it goes:
DON’T show up late. Don’t leave your date sitting in a restaurant wondering if they are about to end up feeling foolish about a no-show.
DO get there on time. It’s a matter of respect for your date. Sure things happen. If they do, simply call.th
DON’T wear your ratty clothes, work-out or work-day clothes (unless you are meeting after a day on the job).
DO try to look your best. Casual does not mean frayed or a hoodie or sweaty running garb. Show off the best version of yourself (inside and out). If you have a color that always elicits complements – wear it. If you have a flattering outfit or shirt – pick that one!
DON’T fool with your phone the whole time! REALLY!
DO put it on “do not disturb” and, if you must, check it for important messages when you go to the restroom. NO social media or texting. You want to convey is that you are here with your date, and everyone else can wait. (Obvious exception, custodial parents with younger children).
DON’T be cheap. No complaints about menu prices, don’t talk about your budget for the evening, don’t talk about who is going to pay; and above all don’t use a credit card that is going to be declined!
DO relax about the cash flow. Even if you are a frugal person, this is not the time to create stress around your finances. Select an activity and destination for your date that you can afford!
DON’T forget good manners.
DO remember that common courtesy is HUGE. For example: don’t talk over your date, listen, use good table manners; and men—you can open doors, and hold seats and coats—this is not sexist, but it is sexy.
DO be a confident, self-assured person. A confident person is humble, gracious, curious. Confidence is sexy.
DON’T brag about yourself, bluster, hold court, monopolize the date with stories about yourself, your life, your most recent relationship breakup, etc. An insecure person will only focus on themselves…
DO bring a positive, affirming energy that will create a tone for the date, and affect the other person in a nice way.
DON’T complain about all the horrid stuff from your day. Don’t bring up your ex. Don’t bemoan all the awful dates you’ve been on. In fact, complaining is bad for us anyway, so use this first date as a chance to turn the tables on the unpleasantness that may have taken place that day, week, month, or year. Dismiss it and, instead, bring along your positive energy.
DO be yourself. If date #2 is going to happen, it is better it it’s with YOU than some artificial version of you that you invented to make a good impression.
DON’T pretend to be someone else. Please. Phony doesn’t fool for long.
DO focus on the connection between you and your date.
DON’T focus on the outcome. If you invest too heavily in the outcome, you’ll miss the good stuff.
DO affirm what you want to believe and you will believe it. Wherever your head is—that’s where your life will go. To say it another way: your thoughts create your emotions which guide your actions. Your actions bring about your everyday reality. Even if you’ve had bad luck in your love life, even if you feel uncertain, even if you are not used to dating: tell yourself: “I can do this.” Tell yourself: “This is going to be great.”
DON’T sabotage yourself with negative self-talk.