Now that you’re ready to date, have you considered dating a divorced woman? If you listen to the negative comments made by some comedians and on popular sitcoms, you might be misled and pass up a wonderful chance to connect with someone special by unnecessarily limiting your dating pool. That said, you should be aware of both your own and your potential mate’s current emotional résumés. Taking the pool reference a bit farther, ignoring certain signs could lead you to dive headfirst into the shallow end. Watch out! You could hit your head! But making the most of certain opportunities could send you floating blissfully in the wake of shared experiences.
If you are considering dating a divorced woman, do your best to assess whether she’s had enough time to heal the wounds that can accompany a divorce. If she hasn’t had a chance to deal with her loss, grief, or anger and move past her previous relationship, jumping into dating prematurely can be disastrous. Because divorce is emotionally, physically, and financially draining, processing all these changes is different for every person.
Assuming they are ready to date, divorced women make excellent partners because they are experienced in life and know what goes into having a serious committed relationship. Their “been there, done that” experiences can give them a great appreciation for the quality time you’ll spend together because they already know how to be a committed partner. Plus, they’ve had the chance to develop personal growth from past relationships and found out what not to do—creating more like a “been there, won’t do that” mentality that can greatly benefit you. With immense potential to add value to your life, divorced women can certainly make a splash!
Focusing too much on the divorce can also limit your options.
If you are divorced yourself, you know that your divorce is just one chapter; you have a bigger story to tell. Similarly, your potential partner is not defined by divorce. Divorce is a circumstance of life and many circumstances lead to divorce. When the participants in a relationship change, of course the relationship changes. Sometimes it thrives; sometimes it ends. So just because two people were not right for each other doesn’t mean you can’t be great together.
Consider these things when choosing any potential partner:
Do you have shared values and goals?
In looking for solid dating advice for men, consider the following: Does she meet your requirements—your must-haves or deal-breakers, like honesty, mutual respect, passion, interdependence? You must know your relationship requirements in order to know if she meets them. Does she meet your functional or emotional needs, i.e. is she organized, a good communicator, affectionate, loyal, patient?
Again, you must understand your own needs. Unmet needs will lead to resentment and destroy a relationship.
Does she meet your wants in a relationship? Think of these as the icing on the cake, i.e. tall, blonde, physically fit. These are “nice to have” but if they are missing in the relationship, the viability of the partnership will not be adversely affected.
While trusting the attraction you feel as you date your divorced friend, proceed slowly and enjoy the dating process. Be the chooser — only you know what’s best for you.
And I will be here to support you as you dip your toe in and take the plunge! Visit my personal online scheduler to set a free 30 minute consultation.