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Relationship Elements

Dating Coaching & Advice Nashville TN

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Kicking the Faulty Expectation and Fear of Rejection to the Curb!

Rejection is a myth.  No-one can make you feel rejected without your permission.

Your disappointment stems from your own beliefs about why you were rejected. But there may be no why – and even if there is, the why is not about you but about the other person. What you offer simply does not fit what he or she is looking for at the moment. A person can easily decline romantic advances for logical reasons (geography or schedules), for illogical reasons (hair color or the Zodiac) or for no reason at all. The key: do not take it personally.

If you take it personally, you will create a belief about yourself as “a reject,” and that label can be devastating and demoralizing. Although being turned down can be disappointing, the label is something you impose on yourself, and it that faulty belief that causes your suffering.  There are about six billion people on this earth. There will always be people who are not utterly dazzled by your sparkling contribution to the world. And there will always be someone interested in you and the many gifts and qualities you have to offer. Seek and you shall find!

Believe it or not, it is best to expect rejection. Doing so is a smart dating strategy. It ensures that you will not be discouraged as you seek your ideal match. It helps guarantee that you will not settle for less than you want or deserve.  Think about it: not everyone you meet will like you.  At least not in that way – the romantic, life-partner, ideal match way. How could they? If we each had millions of ideal matches, we’d be clones of one another and life would be so very dull.

Be thankful that not everyone you meet will want to date you. If people insisted on spending time with you, and occupying you and your attentions despite knowing that you are not the right person for them, what a waste of your time that would be. Be glad your time will be opened up for someone who is right. Many singles find themselves so dedicated to impressing the opposite sex that they lose touch with their personal long term relationship goal.  The lesson: stay committed to the process of dating and allow better opportunities to present themselves.

The word “no” is so small – just two letters. It is one of the first words we learn as tiny children. In fact, kids get such a kick out of saying it. When did it become so scary? If you hear that word, are you going to care in 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 months or 10 years? Probably not. “No, thank you,” is a moment in time. It passes.

And remember, you are not alone. You are not the first, nor will you be the last, to experience “rejection.”  We’ve all been there.  Jack Canfield’s very successful book Chicken Soup for the Soul was turned down by 144 publishers before finally being published.  Walt Disney lost his job at a newspaper because his editor accused him of “having no good ideas.”  Learning how to handle rejection is a valuable tool that will enable you to continue to achieve your goals.

Don’t give up on your quest to find your ideal match just because you have been turned down. While it takes courage to approach someone, it takes integrity to accept a refusal politely and with dignity.  The best thing you can do is respect the wishes of the person saying “no,” and end on good terms.

You will ride out the bumps and surprises along your journey. The destination is well worth the ride.

As always I’m available to help you find your true love and build a relationship that lasts.  Here is my personal online scheduler to get your 30 minute Free strategy session.  Let’s get started today!

 

Filed Under: Dating & Relationship Advice, Self-Esteem and Confidence

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3 Deadly Dating Blunders
and How to Avoid Them

from Betty Russell, BCC

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5 Secrets to Make Online
Dating Work for You

from Betty Russell, BCC

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What Clients Are Saying

Betty walked the path with me in such a way that I found someone amazing!

In a world saturated with online dating and connections that just seem ingenious, I had given up hope. I craved human connection that didn’t involve a screen and knew that I had a lot of love to give.

Finding that person was an uphill battle, but Betty made me feel as though I was not alone. She helped me believe in myself and walked the path with me in such a way that I found someone amazing… and learned more about myself in the process. In my eyes, that’s a double win! – Bruce W, Nashville TN

Betty helped me to regain my authenticity and confidence

I was down-right desperate to find love. I was looking in all the wrong places and found my emotions to be all over the place every time I went on a date. I felt disappointed and hopeless.

Betty helped me to regain my authenticity and confidence. She didn’t just help me to find a partner, but also helped me to navigate my emotions, and realize that it takes two to tango. I had to be the best version of myself to meet someone, and Betty did that for me. – Amanda S, New Orleans LA

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