In fact, when you’re able to spend time alone, with yourself, magic happens. A kind of magic that allows you to be the best partner with the right person, when the time is right. But this can be tricky for those who have a fear of being alone.
So, in a world that’s saturated with online connection with the tap of a button, there’s never been a more important time to learn how to really ‘switch off’ and enjoy your own company.
Which is why today we’re going to look at the fear of being alone, and ways that you can overcome this fear. We’ll also look at the positive effects of being single, and the ways that it can make you an even stronger and better partner in the future.
Firstly, do you believe that you have a fear of being alone? Do you answer ‘yes’ to one or more of these questions?
- You spend time with people with whom you don’t really like just to avoid being alone?
- You spend countless hours on your phone, texting or calling?
- You must have background noise when at home alone, such as music or the TV?
- Does it make you anxious to think that you may never have a romantic partner?
If so, you may very well hold this fear… and this is nothing to be ashamed about. In fact, it’s a relatively normal fear to have, especially since society often deems singletons as depressed, lonely, the ‘third wheel’, or even someone who has a personality problem. This couldn’t be further from the truth however.
You see, when someone has a fear of being alone, they’re prone to acting in ways that are not beneficial to them. This oftentimes leads to them settling for less than they deserve, and being unable to make important decisions and judgements by themselves.
How Does a Fear of Being Alone Affect You?
According to a 2013 study, Spielmann SS, MacDonald G, Maxwell JA, Peragine D, Muise A, and Impette EA used their developed scale, the Fear of Being Single Scale, to measure the implications of those who fear being alone.
The results showed that those who fear being single are more prone to settling for less in romantic relationships. They were also less selective when it came to finding a mate, and satisfied with less responsive and less attractive partners.
The study also found that those who feared being alone were less likely to end an unsatisfying relationship, and that there was a tendency for them to find unfavorable characteristics appealing, such as partners who were less caring and less considerate.
With these results, an unsettling paradox was found: those who settle for less in an attempt to curb being alone are less likely to find happy romantic relationships. A grim conclusion, for sure.
For that reason, we encourage you to explore the many benefits that being single and loving your own company has to offer. This is because it puts focus on you so that you can be the very best version of yourself when you do find the person that makes your heart skip a beat.
The Health Benefits of Being Single & Loving Your Own Company
It Could Make You Happier
Of a study of 4,000 adult men and women of all ages, it was found that singletons were just as happy as their coupled up counterparts.
And in a separate study, married participants in an unhappy marriage were less able to enjoy the happier moments in life. This, the researchers said, is a risk factor for depression.
It Could Be Heart-Healthy For You
At Michigan State University, a five-year study was undergone in 2014 which showed that being in a bad marriage actually causes distress to the heart.
This is largely to do with the increase in stress, anxiety, and depression, which can have a tumbling effect, such as a lack of exercise, and a less healthy diet.
It Could Mean More Sex
Over a period of 25 years, more than 26,000 people of various ages, races, educational level, and work status filled in a survey that revealed some of their intimate details.
The results found that singletons were, in fact, having more sex than those who were married. Married people showed a trend of having sex around nine times less per year than singles.
Emotional and Social Benefits of Being Single & Loving Your Own Company
You May Have Bigger and Deeper Social Connections
In the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, a study was published saying that singletons were more likely to expand their social networks, and be more active and helpful within their community.
And according to clinical psychologist, Roxy Zarrabi, Psy.D, those who are able to develop platonic friendships are more prepared to enter a successful and happy couple or marriage.
You’ll Develop Inner Strength, Meet Your Authentic Self, and Become More Accountable
Being single allows you to become independent, and to make decisions on your own. It gives you the chance to learn who you truly are, what you like and what you don’t like, and what kind of qualities you’re looking for in a partner. When you’re single you will discover your true strength by having to be accountable for your actions, and learning from your experiences.
You’re More Likely to Be More Adventurous and to Grab Great Opportunities
Being single means that you are able to do as you like, when you like. And while compromise is important in all kinds of relationships, when you’re single you will be able to travel at the drop of a hat, or take an excellent new job opportunity.
You won’t be hindered from doing the things that you love because going on an adventure or grabbing a new opportunity is always 100 percent your decision.
And now, the ago-old question…
Is Being Single Better Than Being in a Relationship?
Not one nor the other is ‘better’. In fact, there is no valid answer to that question. But what we can say is that being single or being able to spend some time alone paves the way for more satisfying, happier, and successful relationships.
It is when we’re truly able to embrace and love ourselves that we refuse to settle for anything less than what we deserve. By learning to love your own company you’ll strive to find someone who can give you a life that’s even better than the single one. You’re lovely, believe it!