George Sand, the French novelist, once wrote: “There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved.” For people, like Sand, who are open to love…there is nothing else like it!
Deep down, does ANYONE not want love? Silly question, right? But there are those who claim to want love, but whose actions and non-verbal communication telegraph “no, not really;” resulting in a lifetime of feeling that something is missing…
Opening to love is about what is inside us. Don’t expect and seek love from others if you can’t or don’t love yourself. And the good news is that the “closed!” vibe we give off can be reprogrammed! Yay!
And there are lots of reasons a person might be shut down to love. For example there may be a hurt or trauma from a previous relationship. Or there might be a underlying feeling of unworthiness, or a fear of being vulnerable about being loved. Scary, scary! No one wants to suffer – and letting love in means rejection or hurt can happen. VERY scary, scary! Then there are others who may feel nervous about losing power, or even identity, if they love someone else.
There are also career concerns! Some people find that they have been so career-focused for so long that they don’t know how to switch gears to a less career-driven life. Women especially protect their professional lives by keeping their guard up 24/7. Then to keep what they’ve accomplished they decide they must become completely self-sufficient; which is not an easy pathway to letting love in.
AND ALL of this is likely to be buried in our subconscious. Without a good hard look at why we never seem to find love…we might spend years living our lives from these closed off places.
If you truly want love in your life and are willing to put effort into it (more than just swiping right) – well, the sky can become your limit!
There are things you can do. For a start, see my recent blog Being Open to Love in an Online Dating World.