Betty, I want to jump back into the dating pool and don’t know where to start. Can you help me? In today’s swipe-right, swipe-left world, the biggest hurdle for daters isn’t finding matches—it’s figuring out what they actually want from the dating scene. **Knowing your own intentions** is like having a GPS for your love [read more]
Question: Can you help me understand why I have a hard time asking for what I need in a relationship?
Dear Betty, Can you help me understand why I have a hard time asking for what I need in a relationship? Yes, I can help you. This a very important question because all relationships end due to unmet needs or death. Whether the needs are known or unknown, spoken or unspoken they are critical to [read more]
Role Models by Default: Don’t Let the Past Repeat Itself
How much of your relationship success or failure in love is rooted in your role models growing up? Perhaps more than you realize. Considering that our parents are our biggest role models in relationships, it is easy to see why we would unconsciously mirror their behavior, healthy or unhealthy. Have you ever wondered why an [read more]
Speak Up—The Truth is in There
All the giving-in, all the compromising in her relationship with Tom came from Jane. Pretty soon, no matter how absurd Tom’s whims, or how uncomfortable for her, Jane was saying “yes” to everything. Her fear that he’d walk out made her want to buy his loyalty with silence and acquiescence. In other words, since Jane [read more]
Interdependence vs. Codependence—It’s Okay to Have Needs
Kimia had been in several relationships that started out well, but eventually did not fulfill her. She invariably ended up feeling taken advantage of, and that her boyfriends did not really care deeply for her. I asked her, “Do you think you made it clear to them that you won’t tolerate disrespectful behavior and that [read more]
The Myth of Greener Grass
My client Quinton was never quite satisfied. Even when he was, clearly, satisfied, he always wondered if he could be more satisfied. He moved twice in one year because he found an apartment he liked better four months into his first lease. It was a mess, but he got “the apartment of his dreams.” Or [read more]