“O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-ey’d monster, which doth mock The meat it feeds on.” – William Shakespeare, Othello Jacob travels a lot for work. Jacob can’t bear thinking about his wife, Darlene, sitting in a restaurant alone while he’s away, or even taking her car to their local garage. Why? [read more]
Part One of a Great Relationship – Emotional Intimacy
The key to any successful relationship is genuine attachment. Obviously you have a different relationship with a housemate or friend than you do with your lover. No matter how close a friend a housemate is, the attachment of a lover is bound to be deeper. It is based on full understanding which leads to a [read more]
Honestly? Telling Lies Hurts (Everybody)
People lie constantly. Especially if you include in your tally the most common lie of all: “I’m fine.” As much of a social lubricant as this lie is, it represents an essential fact. People don’t want to reveal… too much. We learn to lie in childhood. Saying “sorry” when we are not, saying what others [read more]
Take a Deep Breath: How to Detect and Cope with Lies
Lying is believing or knowing one thing while intending to communicate another. As painful as it is to be lied to, a certain amount of empathy is important when dealing with liars who typically are acting out of fear or low self-esteem. Often, fear and low self-image are also responsible for the very actions about [read more]
Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence PART 2 – How to Improve Self-Confidence
Last week I talked to you about self-esteem, a fundamental internal navigational system that, when it is working well, allows you to love and accept yourself (Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence PART I – How to Improve Self-esteem). Healthy self-esteem is often present in self-confident people, but not always. You can be confident in certain arenas – [read more]
Developing Self-Trust
“If you can’t trust me, who can you trust?” When I was growing up, that’s what our sketchy neighbor Mr. Dillard used to say all the time. Even as a kid I remember thinking, “I bet he doesn’t even trust himself.” I know I didn’t. A friend of mine made a really bad decision recently. [read more]
Interdependence vs. Codependence—It’s Okay to Have Needs
Kimia had been in several relationships that started out well, but eventually did not fulfill her. She invariably ended up feeling taken advantage of, and that her boyfriends did not really care deeply for her. I asked her, “Do you think you made it clear to them that you won’t tolerate disrespectful behavior and that [read more]
Should I Stay or Should I Go: What’s Your Tipping Point?
Relationships, even the best of them, require care and attention. If you are in a relationship and like most people, you have had to work on things. It’s like keeping your body healthy. You can’t ignore it and expect it to be in top form. But, if you’ve been in triage mode for a long [read more]