The “soul mate” ideal harks back centuries. Anyone who has been deeply in love understands that feeling of inevitability that comes with an intense joining. There are two concepts that address this idealized form of love—soul mate and twin flame. Even if you have never seen the movie, Jerry Maguire, you are probably familiar with [read more]
Toxic Relationships – What Are They and What Can Be Done?
David had been with Suzanne for so long that he forgot what it felt like to just feel good, or even okay, on a daily basis. He was in a toxic relationship but did not realize it. It was affecting his mental and emotional well-being. But he loved Suzanne – how could she be toxic? [read more]
Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence PART 2 – How to Improve Self-Confidence
Last week I talked to you about self-esteem, a fundamental internal navigational system that, when it is working well, allows you to love and accept yourself (Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence PART I – How to Improve Self-esteem). Healthy self-esteem is often present in self-confident people, but not always. You can be confident in certain arenas – [read more]
Asking for What You Need – Why You Should and Why It’s Hard
We are born fully programmed to ask for, and receive, what we need. A baby just minutes old will turn its head expectantly, assuming its biological need for sustenance will be met promptly. If it isn’t, the baby cries, and mama puts the little wiggleworm to her breast. Feedback loop complete. Easy, right? Well, yes, [read more]
Finding the Right Person—Four Truths
You’re not 20 anymore. You are long out of college and maybe long out of your last serious relationship. Unattached people are not milling about in every building you enter, and when you stand at the check-out line, the people within a decade of your age all have wedding rings, babies, or both. But do [read more]
The Value of Interdependent Relationships
Dependence. Independence. Co-dependence Interdependence. These are not buzz words – they are terms that clearly delineate ways of interacting with others. Dependence – A newborn baby is dependent. All the power lies with its parents. Dependence is a vulnerable, trusting state. As adults, we can be, at times, dependent on others, but it is never [read more]
Thanks, but No Thanks: A Vital Life Skill
Some people find it easy to say no. You know those people? Maybe you are one of those people. But if you are one of the millions of others – those who struggle mightily with that simple word – you may be both envious and awestruck by those who can just say no. For so [read more]
Why Emotional Security is #1 in a Relationship
My client Virginia originally called me to help her navigate a difficult relationship. She loved Pat so much it was painful. The problem was, it actually was painful. She never knew when he was going to pull the rug out from under her. One day he was understanding and supportive, telling her how much he [read more]