Dear Betty, How can I weed out people online that are not a good fit for me? The “what are you looking for in a relationship” part of any dating profile is a list of wishes, but the wishes need to be based in reality, not fantasy. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people out there [read more]
Part Two of a Great Relationship – Physical Intimacy
Intimacy is one of those concepts that has almost as many definitions as there are people to have opinions about it. Some people think “feelings” when they think about intimacy, and they find it easy to achieve emotional intimacy with others. They are not afraid of feeling vulnerable or else they enjoy the rewards of [read more]
The Chemistry of Love – Love and the Brain
If I were to describe a situation in which someone experienced a flood of dopamine and ocytocin, a drop in serotonin, and spikes in adrenaline and norepinephrine, all those brain chemicals going crazy might make you assume this person was overdosing on some kind of highly addictive drug. You’d be right. The “drug” is called [read more]
Live Your Truth—Don’t Settle for Less Than You Deserve
Desiring human connection and love is normal and healthy. Too often our longing for those things gets in the way of living an authentic life. If you think you are not living a life that aligns with your true value, read on. But first, try not to judge yourself, and do not despair. How you [read more]
One in 7.6 Billion? The Truth about Soul Mates
The “soul mate” ideal harks back centuries. Anyone who has been deeply in love understands that feeling of inevitability that comes with an intense joining. There are two concepts that address this idealized form of love—soul mate and twin flame. Even if you have never seen the movie, Jerry Maguire, you are probably familiar with [read more]
Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence PART I – How to Improve Self-Esteem
A dynamic, brilliant musician or actor exudes self-confidence on stage. A supremely gifted athlete seems innately imbued with confidence. And then we see one of these icons of self-assurance in the tabloids – in an abusive relationship or struggling with addiction. Does this seem paradoxical? Isn’t self-confidence the same thing as self-esteem… so how could [read more]
Developing Self-Trust
“If you can’t trust me, who can you trust?” When I was growing up, that’s what our sketchy neighbor Mr. Dillard used to say all the time. Even as a kid I remember thinking, “I bet he doesn’t even trust himself.” I know I didn’t. A friend of mine made a really bad decision recently. [read more]
Relationship with a Narcissist? Shut it Down (Here’s Why)
My client Tom had a sad story to tell me when we first met. He had been in a relationship with—he was firm on this point—the love of his life, when suddenly he was tossed aside. His devastation was complete and the trauma tapped into his primal abandonment wound. As we talked, over the next [read more]