Knowing what you don’t want will only take you so far. But how do we shift from thinking in the negative to thinking in the positive—with the confidence to know who we are and what we want out of life? Samuel had been in several not-right relationships. Probably about 5 by the time he was [read more]
6 Good Reasons to Date an Extrovert
Last week I talked about the beauty of a relationship with an introvert. Well, now it’s time to celebrate the extrovert. Perhaps less likely to be victims of stereotypes, extroverts are still often painted with broad strokes, and doing so misses many of the nuances of this special personality type. Don’t make the mistake of [read more]
Vulnerability and Authenticity—Partners in Your Inner Life
Max seemed so perfect. When he would first meet a woman, he gave the impression of a truly accomplished, confident man. He had a “perfect life” – great job, nice car and house. He played a perfect golf game and he was good looking and in excellent shape. Why couldn’t he hold onto a relationship [read more]
Relationship with a Narcissist? Shut it Down (Here’s Why)
My client Tom had a sad story to tell me when we first met. He had been in a relationship with—he was firm on this point—the love of his life, when suddenly he was tossed aside. His devastation was complete and the trauma tapped into his primal abandonment wound. As we talked, over the next [read more]
Interdependence vs. Codependence—It’s Okay to Have Needs
Kimia had been in several relationships that started out well, but eventually did not fulfill her. She invariably ended up feeling taken advantage of, and that her boyfriends did not really care deeply for her. I asked her, “Do you think you made it clear to them that you won’t tolerate disrespectful behavior and that [read more]
Finding the Right Person—Four Truths
You’re not 20 anymore. You are long out of college and maybe long out of your last serious relationship. Unattached people are not milling about in every building you enter, and when you stand at the check-out line, the people within a decade of your age all have wedding rings, babies, or both. But do [read more]
Betty’s Practical Guide to Moving in Together
I have moving on-the-brain this week (since I’m moving into a new house myself) so wanted to write about the practical issues around moving in with your partner. For insights about how to arrive at this important decision (or not), and an overview of some of the issues involved, you can revisit some of my [read more]
New Relationship? New Holiday Traditions
The holiday season is one of sensory stimulation, excitement, stress, a range of emotions, traditions, and memories. Our memories can provide solace but also sadness, especially if they remind us of past relationships that did not work out. Rather than go all Grinchy Scrooge on the holidays, realize that there are always new traditions to [read more]