Knowing what you don’t want will only take you so far. But how do we shift from thinking in the negative to thinking in the positive—with the confidence to know who we are and what we want out of life? Samuel had been in several not-right relationships. Probably about 5 by the time he was [read more]
6 Good Reasons to Date an Extrovert
Last week I talked about the beauty of a relationship with an introvert. Well, now it’s time to celebrate the extrovert. Perhaps less likely to be victims of stereotypes, extroverts are still often painted with broad strokes, and doing so misses many of the nuances of this special personality type. Don’t make the mistake of [read more]
5 Ways to Stop Attracting the Wrong Type of Person
Congratulations! You have jumped back into the dating pool. Doing so takes guts and vision and a joyful, optimistic heart. In fact, your optimistic confidence that you will find Mr. or Ms. Right is totally justified. But maybe you are losing that optimistic outlook because you notice a recurring theme—as you attempt to enter serious [read more]
To Ex or not to Ex? Is it a Good Idea to Try Again?
Dave reconnected with his ex-wife a year after the divorce papers were finalized. They’d both been in therapy and seemed to have a lot more insight than ever before—into themselves and what went wrong between them. What they did not realize is that having insight into what the problems were does not mean those problems [read more]
Finding Balance in an Introvert-Extrovert Relationship
Jerry—classic introvert. Very tuned in to the internal world of emotions and ideas. Refuels via alone time, whenever he’s exhausted or drained. Able to tune out the world when he’s focused. More at home in small, intimate groups than big blow-out parties. Life is going fine for Jerry, an orthopedic surgeon with a penchant for [read more]
Relationship with a Narcissist? Shut it Down (Here’s Why)
My client Tom had a sad story to tell me when we first met. He had been in a relationship with—he was firm on this point—the love of his life, when suddenly he was tossed aside. His devastation was complete and the trauma tapped into his primal abandonment wound. As we talked, over the next [read more]
Interdependence vs. Codependence—It’s Okay to Have Needs
Kimia had been in several relationships that started out well, but eventually did not fulfill her. She invariably ended up feeling taken advantage of, and that her boyfriends did not really care deeply for her. I asked her, “Do you think you made it clear to them that you won’t tolerate disrespectful behavior and that [read more]
What to Do Once You Know What You Know—Staying Too Long in a Relationship
Brita knew. But she didn’t. She woke up most days with a heaviness in her chest. A sense of unease, guilt, and hopelessness. How long had she had this feeling? Years. She was caught in the trap of staying too long in a bad relationship. Perry was exhausted all the time. He worried that his [read more]